Walking around LA this past weekend I did a lot of people watching. I found myself wanting to help every single obese person I saw. My heart was breaking right and left as I remembered what it was like. I don’t care how confident I tried to be… how I “rocked” my nearly 300lb body and made myself look “sexy”. In my head I was fat. I was ugly. I was miserable. I was depressed.
Making the choice to have weight loss surgery wasn’t an easy choice. Quite the opposite. It was a HUGE decision as I knew my life would be changed forever.
And it has been the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. 

I’ve had to change the way I think about everything…

–my feelings about food.
–my approach to cooking.
–my willingness to exercise.
–my view of myself.
–my reaction to others and their comments.

Holy smokes… it’s a mind game. It’s emotional. It’s draining. It’s crazy.

But I did it… and I’m still doing it. There are days where it’s a constant battle in my head. Wrapping my thoughts around the new me and all of the changes that have taken place in my life as a result of my choices.

However, it’s still hard.
Yes, my thoughts are different. Very different. But it’s made me realize something that I neglected to admit, allow, or even address before my surgery.

I’m worth it.

100% without a doubt WORTH IT.

Would do it again a million times WORTH IT.

I’m still working on changing my thoughts. But it gets easier and easier as time goes on.

I’m embracing the new me. I’m LIVING!

–I still love food — but I enjoy it with boundaries.
–I still love cooking — but I’ve radically changed my ingredients and techniques.
–I still hate exercising (LOL) — but I’m willing to work on that.
–I still have a negative view of myself — but I now realize that I am WAY too critical of my flaws… and I’m working on that too.
–I still have an instinctual reaction to comments from others — but I no longer withdraw or feel that I have to apologize for the way I look. I’m learning to simply smile and possibly say “thank you” or another appropriate response.

I OWN this now.

And I want to help you OWN it too! 💕